Open letter to cheaters masquerading as Swingers


Everybody is up in arms about the leaking of Ashley Madison member details and to those cheaters, Karma just bitch slapped you a beauty!! Although I do feel sorry for, those in the lifestyle who legitimately used it to find play friends. It’s not a way you want to be outed as a Swingers (if people are smart enough to access your details….which out of curiosity, I did)


I guess it’s fitting to address the issue across the whole lifestyle. If you have a truly open marriage where all intimate transactions are transparent, then good on you. If you think you have an open marriage purely because you participate in the lifestyle and use it to cheat on your spouse, then you are scum. Harsh words, I know, but it’s people like that who ruin the reputation of this beautifully liberating sexual world we choose to participate in. It’s those people who give us the reputation of dirty, cheating, philandering swingers, while it’s people like us, (and I use that term openly to anyone who promotes sexually positive, loving and fulfilling relationships) who try so hard to educate people that what we are doing is enhancing our relationships through respectful, fun and satisfying friendships and sexual interactions with other likeminded people.


Ashley Madison is obviously not the only website where cheaters, men and women, scour the internet for potential f**k buddies, it is happening everywhere, across all Swinging websites. So I urge all of you, looking for that unicorn in a threesome, or potential play friends…..please do your due diligence. If you do not, and take a cheater into your bed under the guise of swinging, then you are as guilty as they are. Most of us in the lifestyle have morals and values, despite the fact that we choose, as a couple, to participate in consensual non-monogamy. In fact, I dislike the use of that word as it suggests we are wrong for not participating in monogamy. What do you think the best way to describe it without the use of a negative in the description. Share your comments below.


Please, take your time when contacting people to become play friends. I don’t mean 6 months of endless sexting, but if you’re looking for quality interactions, don’t contact someone this afternoon for a hook up tonight. Do a little research. If you decide to meet up for coffee or a drink beforehand, ask serious questions if the husband or wife is MIA (missing in action). Phrases like ‘oh she’s running late for work’ or ‘she’ll meet us later at home’, should register on your radar as a potentially uncool situation looming. Of course, this is not always the case, but just be a little smarter. If you pass up an opportunity for sex, don’t worry, there will be many more opportunities. Think and play smarter is our ultimate message. No amount of sex is worth jeopardizing your relationship or becoming embroiled in the break up of someone elses. Think with the right ‘head’. Number one lesson though, communicate with your partner. If you are not happy with your relationship talk to each other before running off into someone elses bed. Use your intuition and each others and trust your instincts. If one of you is unhappy or smells a ‘rat’, verbalise it. You hear it all the time in the lifestyle….COMMUNICATE, COMMUNICATE, COMMUNICATE. They are not hollow words, they are the fundamental core values of the Lifestyle and for good reason.